Question regarding marriage-Sheikh Maher Al-Qahtani

[Abu Thar Jawad]

BismiLah, el HamduliLah wassalat wa salam 'ala rassuliLah,

Question to Shaykh Mahir Al Qahtani,

Saturday, February 27th 2010 in Masjid Bilal, Jeddah Saudi Arabia.

There is a man that has his own house his own car, but does not want to get married because he wants to pursue high studies, what is your advice on that?

Answer:

My advice is what the Prophet peace be upon him commended from what has been reported from Muslim in his sahih on the authority of Abu Ruqayya Tamim Ibn Aus ad-Dari radiya Allahu anhu that the Prophet peace be upon him said: Religion is advice, we asked to whom? he peace be upon him said to Allah, and his books and his messengers and the leaders of the muslims and their common people.

And my advice to this man and to all the muslim youth (men and women) is that they hasten to marriage as it is a commend from our prophet peace be upon him in a hadith in sahih el Bukhari from Ibn Messaoud that the Prophet peace be upon him said: O young men, whoever amongst you can afford it, let him get married, for this will lower his gaze and protect his chastity. Whoever cannot (get married), then let him fast, for fasting will be a protection for him.

This hadith proves the obligation of getting married and from the scholars of this time, al 'alama shaykh Albani said: it is mandatory that they hasten to marry and that they precede it over high studies and that they precede it even over hajj. As he might go to hajj and fall into the filth (the sin).

A lot of young men that are not married neglect the fasting and this is the opposite of the sunnah, especially the one that has strong desires, it is a must for him to marry (wajib). Not for the one that has strong desires as it will not affect his chastity as it is mentioned in the hadith to "protect his chastity".
There was a women at the time of the prophet peace be upon him that was afraid of giving the man (who had strong desires) his right, so she said she would not get married. The Prophet peace be upon him did not prohibit her from not getting married. As the desires and the rights of the man are great, it is better for her if she is not capable of handling it to control herself and her eeman (faith). The same goes for the man that is for instance studying and he is afraid that his studies will affect him from giving the women her rights such as affection intercourse or the likes. Then he is advised to fast and not make the women suffer.

This is what has busied shaykh Al islam Ibn Taymiya (rahimahu Allah), when they asked him, as it was mentioned in some of his books why didn't you get married? He answered I forgot. Shaykh Mahir said the truth is that he was very busy with teaching, issuing Islamic fatwas (laws), and refuting the people of bid'a (innovation) until he forgot about marriage. It was mentioned in his biography that they would be food served next to him until he (Ibn Taymiya) would forget about it (the food) until it would go rotten, because he was busy with the knowledge. As at his time the people of bid'a (innovators) were many and he felt the must that he had to stand against it, as if he did not who else would.

So back to the hadith of the one who has strong desires, he must fast and the one who does not have strong desires does not have to. The reason for this is in the hadith to "protect his chastity".
The one that has weak desires of getting married and he is busy doing things to the point he is not thinking about marriage, this one is not mandatory for him nor can we command him to marry, but the one who has strong sexual desires, wanting it, desiring it, this one needs to fast a lot to close the strong desire.
It is known that the worshiper and his abundance of fasting and praying at nights would affect his wife as she needs him in bed. Then he would need to follow the advice of the prophet peace be upon him to not leave of what he does not have the capacity until he finds the means.

End of the shaykh talk for this question.

Translated by Abu Tharr Jawad.

All praise is to Allah, Lord of the worlds and all creations